Browsed by
Author: webadmin

Nov 22 2017

Nov 22 2017

I Choose Oneness

I am reading “The Children of The Law of One and The Lost Teachings of Atlantis” by Jon Peniel.  The book came to me while I was helping a friend move recently.  Some of the teachings resonated with me and some don’t.  What resonated with me most is it’s emphasis on oneness.  I subscribe to oneness, the idea that we are all parts of a whole.  And the the whole being the creative source.  We all came from the creative source.  And we have free will to be or not be.  Every being has free will to choose the part they want to play in this grand saga and there is no judgement on the part you play nor the choices you make with your free will.  The thing is you always have free will even when you some how have convinced yourself that you have no choice but.  You are on a path and in-order for you to be where you are implied that you have made choices consciously and not so consciously for you to be where you are on this path.  You can always make a different choice to be on a different path.  Free Will is the agent of Oneness that makes it possible for the One to have endless experiences with itself.

Even though I subscribe to the idea of Oneness, I don’t think I have actually even begin to grock what true Oneness entails.  Perhaps I may never experience what Oneness is as long as I’m in a vessel that is designed to give me an experience of being separate.  It is a connuncdrum.  Regardless of what I’m here to experience, I choose Oneness.  I choose to be conscious of Oneness in as much of my waking time as possible.  I choose to make all my choices with Oneness in mind as much of the time as I can remember.  I choose Oneness and I allow the love light of source to transform the illusion of separation in me.

 

Nov 20 2017

Nov 20 2017

I Consent

It’s been a while since I have made an entry.  It is not because there were nothing to write about, it’s precisely because so much has transpired that I  couldn’t even wrap my mind around them to put them in words.

 

First off I was visited by an entity.  By entity I mean high vibration beings.  Entities talk to me all the time telepathically.  It’s been going on for over a decade, but I’ve never actually seen one.  I have felt their presence and heard their communications numerous times but have never actually seen one with my physical eyes.  Have even seen them with my 3rd eye but never with my physical eyes.  So for me to actually see one with my physical eyes was a remarkable occassion.  One night, I was ready for bed and went into my room.  I flipped on the light in the room and just walked in towards my bed.  My higher-self told me there’s an entity here waiting to talk to you.  I looked across to the far side of my bed and saw the outline of a big energy orb.  I didn’t see any facial features, no limbs, just an orb of energy.  I could trace the outline of the energy orb and it was shimmering.  I’ve never seen anything like that so I just stared at it for a good ten seconds.  And I thought cool now what?  Like so many times before, entities usually communicate with me just before bedtime, I naturally proceed to get into my bed and switch off all the lights and start to meditate.  I don’t know any other protocol about communicating with them, they usually initiate the communication.  All I need to do is lie down and get myself into a meditative state.  I know, not everyone would respond the way I did.  But honestly that was what came to me to do at the time.  I didn’t feel afraid or threatened.  I was just intrigued because this is the first time I see one with my physical eyes.

 

The entity started communicating with me once I got into a meditative state.  A part of me was resisting and saying how do you know this entity is legit, i.e. an entity that I would want to communicate with.  No I didn’t know.  All I could go on is by feeling.  I have made peace with the fact that there will always be experiences, people, entities or information that I would not know whether they are “legit” or not.  I have also come to the decision long time ago to trust my feelings, trust resonance.  I checked in and I feel it’s ok to communicate with this entity.  I went through the list of usual entities that communicate with me and it’s not any of them.  I asked for a name even though I know entities don’t have names like humans do, but I would like a name or some sort of label to file this experience under.  The entity wanted to be known as Kria. I got a sense that this entity is related to Kryon in that it is a support entity.  Kria wanted me to channel some information and put it in the public eye.  Kria came to me in persona to ask for my permission to do the channeling.  I didn’t give an answer at that moment.  I’d think about it and we left it at that.

 

The next evening, or I should say the next couple of evenings, pretty much all the entities that communicate with me regularly dropped by and told me they support me fully in this new “assignment”.  The Alpha Cintaurian showed up first and said they would unlock parts of my brain to allow for a smooth channeling…. etc…..  This went on for a couple of nights and I was a bit flabbergasted.  You have to understand that these are all high energy entities and I get a full blast of energy every time one of them show up, which meant that normal sleep was not possible.  After a few nights of this shenanigan, I finally tuned in to myself to see what my next move should be.  When I tuned in, I got a yes.  Even though on a conscious logical level I had a lot of resistance to the idea, some part of me, a major part of me, resonated.  So I consented to channel Kria.

 

My soul consented but my ego wanted reassurance so I texted Franco to ask him to tap in and tell me what the heck I have consented to.  Franco confirmed everything and even told me why Kria showed up physically too.  Suffice to say that I have room for improvement.

 

Since then I have started to call in Kria in my meditation to familiarize myself with the energy.  I was told by the Alpha Cintaurians that they will need to come work on me twice  to unlock parts of my brain.  As of this writing their work has concluded.  The Sirians showed up last week to kick my butt about procrastination.  Let me tell ya you don’t want to piss off the Sirians.  The Pleiadians have such lovely loving gentle energies.  The Arcturians too have really high vibration loving energy.  The Alpha Cintaurains feels more neutral to me.  They usually show up when there’s work to be done on me like unlocking my brain or DNA, that kind of stuff.  The Albicurians have only showed up once so far and they are intense.  I mean I felt their energy as being very direct and powerful.  The Sirians just started showing up the last few months.  They too have a very intense energy.  Every time the Sirians show up, I felt like my body is being dismantled and put back together again simultaneously.  It’s not a bad feeling, it’s just intense.

 

Honestly I don’t know where this journey will take me but I’m relief to know that it has started.  I have been in a holding pattern for the last few years.  It is good to finally know which direction to move.

Oct 21 2017

Oct 21 2017

Resistance

I’ve been having a lot of doubts about my vocational direction.  I know I’m being guided but it’s not happening fast enough from my ego’s point for view.  My monkey mind was on high alert.  So when I have a chance to do the Goals and Resistance course from Larry Crane I jumped on it.  I know I have resistance I just didn’t know how insidious and resilient my resistance is.  I have uncovered mountains of resistance that are of Himalayan proportion.  As I work through releasing the negative emotions my mind got clearer.  I am the one that has been blocking my own way.  Resistance born out of fear.  What would happen to my relationship with my family if I go on to do what I’m guided to do?  What would happen to my relationship with my friends?  What would happen if I fail?  What would happen if I succeed?  May be it is better to not proceed past the drawing board etc….

It is interesting how resilient my mind is in making sure I don’t think out of it’s box.  It is not the enemy, my mind is doing what it is suppose to do.  The mind is a tool to create our reality and if it flows with the wind from the moment we are born we would have a hard time figuring out which end is up.  It has to have the ability to hold a structure and also the ability to let us change it if we so desire.  Resistance is not the enemy, it is just our mind asking “Are you sure you want to do this?”  It takes effort and conviction to say yes to change.   I don’t know how long this would take, I just want to release one resistance at a time and see what happens next.  I know I’m getting more moments of happiness and I release easier with each passing day.  The less muck you have the more you notice them when they come up and they come up easier cause you are not suppressing them as much.  My biggest realization is that I want to save my family, my friends, every one in short.  What an egomaniac!  As if they need saving.  They are exactly where they want to be.  Free choice.  We all have free choice to take the scenic route.  It is my lesson to learn to let go of controlling others for my own sake.  It is my lesson to learn to let go of my resistance of their choices and accept them no matter where they are at.  It is my lesson to let go of disappointment and the sense of failure.  It is not my job to change them.  My job is to be.

The energy has been really crazy since the new moon on Thursday.  I felt it on Wednesday actually.  I could hardly sit still during meditation which is not common for me.  Sleep was not easy since I have so much energy all the time.  Things settled a little bit by Friday.  But then may be my nerves are just too fried to give a hoot any more.  If you have been going nuts lately you are not alone.

Oct 11 2017

Oct 11 2017

Unravel

Mother Earth is already fully integrated in the 5th Dimension.  It is us who has to follow her into the 5th Dimension or decide to stay back and move our play ground to another space time.  We have all made our choice already and what we are all experiencing now is the unfolding of our choice.  There is no sitting of the fence on this one.  Have I done all that I could to manifest my choice?  No, I have fallen short miserably from the point of my ego.  Yes, there is no mistake whatsoever from the point of my being.  Resolving this dichotomy is what I’m facing currently.

I have this psycho-drama that has been playing in my mind in numerous scenarios and I am at my wits end to resolve it.  I have this believe that for me to get what I want I have to deprive someone else of what they also want.  It was set up even before I was born.  My mother got involved with a married man, i.e. my father.  From that point onwards, all my love relationships have been tainted.  I am a middle child and I have countless memories of jockeying for my parents’ love.  Even before I got married I made sure I set up this triangle with my mother-in-law.   The program persists though the marriage did not.  I have been working on this program/belief for a long time and it’s deep rooted.  I decided to merge with this thought form in meditation today.  Come on in, let’s see what’s really inside this.  I invited it in and this thought form hurled insults on injury at me.  Thankyou for the experience.  I love you no matter what.  No matter what it shared with me I just keep appreciating all the interesting experiences I have had and am still having with this thought form.  I continued until I loss interest.  It’s not done yet though I’ve done all I can do today.  I allow it to unfold however it needs to unfold for the rest of the day.

Oct 10 2017

Oct 10 2017

Stuffed

After a few days of celebrating I felt stuffed.  The demands of my body has been consuming my attention.  My left hip, my shoulders, too much food etc… It all seem too much when all of a sudden I felt a shift.  Everything felt lighter today.  It made the previous couple of days seem like dreadful torture by comparison.  I don’t know what happened, I just know there has been a shift.  I felt the shift internally as being easier to let go of stuff.  I felt it in my meditation this morning too.  It’s so much easier to blank my mind, to let go of focusing on the internal dialogue and focus on being.  I could still hear every sound coming from my environment and all of the internal dialogue, I just have no interest in any of them.  I don’t want anything from these thought forms.  I don’t need them to continue.  I don’t need them to stop.  I have no demands on them and they have no influence on me.  I feel a great expansiveness around me so much so that I can’t help but be happy and peaceful.  I didn’t even need to connect to any dimension, I’m connected to me – my Higher Self.

 

Oct 8 2017

Oct 8 2017

Thanksgiving

“Avoid becoming the product of environment, when environment is meant to become a product of you.”  Bentinho Masaro

It’s a beautiful quote and my spirit took advantage of this permission slip.  It’s also rather poignant cause most of us would gather with family or friends at Thanksgiving time.  It’s a time when we all face our environment, in guise as our family and friends.  Inorder for environment to become a product of me, I must first determine what’s mine and what’s not mine.  It is not an easy task to do of cause.  Because on some level everyone and everything are a part of me.  It is a connuncdrum.

Meditation was not easy today.  I’m having trouble extricating me from my environment.  I want connection with my higher self and my ego wants to remember if I have ingredients to make fish stew for dinner.  I only have one small can of tomato paste, may be I should use a bechamel sauce instead of tomato sauce etc….   Perhaps I need to go higher so instead of the 5th Dimension I connected to the 7th.  It worked.  My head seem to feel less of a burden on my kneck and shoulder.  Then the question popped into my head, what’s going on with my kneck and shoulder, what’s the story there?  I go up to the 9th Dimension to find out more about this.  It was my first lover.  I was devastated when the affair fell apart.  I created a lot of stories and programs about myself and relationships at that time.  We have met before in previous life times.  I could see myself in a battle field the last time we met etc….  I thank him for the experience and proceeded to clean up our karma.  I let go of wanting anything more from our stories toghether.  I let go of looking for love from him, I let go of wanting anything from our encounters.  Next time we meet we can start fresh.

I need to go  higher, I want to get more familiar with who I truly am without all these stories.  I connected to the 13th Dimension.  Here I have no name.  It’s a profound peace to not be limited by a name.

 

Oct 7 2017

Oct 7 2017

Universe of Surprises

“To know the future is to be trapped by it…. Universe of surprises that is what I pray for…”  Said Letto Atreides to his Grand Mother in the Children of Dune.  I first saw this movie a few years ago when I was out of the country.  The whole Dune serie whether in book form or in TV movie form intrigues me.  That is one interesting phenomena.  It feels real to me on some level.  Of the whole serie, these words fascinated me the most. We all want to see into the future, to have a mirror that let us see around the corner.  Yet these special people who have that ability to see into the future lament that they want freedom from their abilities, the very same abilities that we all covet.

We are coming into an opportunity when we can all begin to recover these abilities, to remember the experiences of our lineage and to see into the future or more appropriately the infinite possibilities within each moment.  Yet inorder to do that we have to let go of what we are conditioned to believe is normal for humans.  Even the term human is a belief construct long over due for an over haul.  We are not human, we are eternal spirit with form.  Our form allow us to experience different realities that our spirit alone do not allow us to experience.  Spirit and form both have the signature of source.  It is now time for consciousness to take the next step integrating spirit and form.  To facilitate that we need to step beyond what is normal to investigate what is authentic.  Authenticity is not just what you do, more importantly it is who you are when no one is around.  Authenticity starts with you witnessing who you are when you don’t care about what other people want of you, when your only guidance is your own resonance, when you choose to know yourself. It is the only path I know to go back to source, the parth back to oneness.  Let go of the truth.  The concept of truth implies untruth, implies duality.  Let go of the truth and allow for what is.

I seek to know myself in meditation.  It is not easy for I have been too well conditioned by society yet I choose to do just that in every meditation, to forget what I was told about myself and listen to what beingness is communicating to me instead beyond words.  I give away thoughts and start to journey within.  I start to shift my awareness away from my body and starts to focus on beingness, the witness within.  The shift is subtle.  What can I do to integrate this body more with spirit?  I have always use this body to experience the environment, what if I focus on experiencing this body rather then use this body to experience?  I tune into each of the cells in this body, it’s DNA and I just want to be with it.  I don’t want to change it, I don’t want to know anything about it, I just want to be with it.  It was an interesting experiment.  I stayed with it until I lost interest.  It is time to connect with Gaia before I end my meditation.  Gaia my good friend, I am happy to be here with you.

Oct 6 2017

Oct 6 2017

I Know Who I Am In Truth

I was reading the notes I made while listening to a recorded talk by Paul Selig this morning.  He mentioned during his talk that he used a mantra to help him focus when he channels.  The mantra starts with “I know who I am in Truth ….”  I also noted him mentioning that it’s important to know between what you know and what you think by knowing how it feels when you know that you know and when you think that you know.  This intrigued me so I asked myself the question do I know who I am in truth?  The quick answer came back is hell no.  Is that true?  Which part of me answered that question?  It is the thinking me, my ego, that doesn’t know who I am in truth.  When I switch to my heart centre and check in with my knowing I felt that I do know who I am in truth.  I pay attention to my whole being I feel solid when I know.

By now I’m hooked so I use that as the opening into my meditation this morning.  I started going through the sequence of atuning to 28, opening my thymus point, relaxing, blanking my mind etc….  As I drop deeper and deeper into meditation, the noise around me became more distant.  I could still hear the subway trains going by and people moving around in the house, but the noises seem far away.  I could sense my own energy field swirling around me intensely rampling up.  The Arcturians came to me last night and gave me a message that felt off.  I want to know what was off.  Was it because I didn’t like what I heard or was it because the source of the message was questionable?  To find that out I need to know what knowing feels like to me because within me I know that answer.  I went deep within to connect with my higer self.  The deeper I went the more I felt the connection between my heart and my head strong and there is very little random fleeting thoughts.  It’s as if my head is only interested in the communication from the heart.  I know who I am in truth.  I know that I AM in truth.  I have no words to express who I am in truth.  I know that I know and I know what knowing feels like.

Oct 5 2017

Oct 5 2017

What the heck with my hip!

I woke up this morning feeling a little off.  Effects of the full moon last night perhaps.  So I made time to sit down and meditate to change my head space.  Various thoughts race through my mind as I start to connect with my breathing and start to turn my focus within.  I open up my thymus point and I start to raise my vibration by calling on 528.  Went through the sequence to relax the front and then the back.  Started to blank my mind and activate the pathways between heart and brain communication etc….

What to focus on for today’s meditation?  When in doubt always start with my body.  I quickly scanned my body and my left hip caught my attention.  Let’s focus on what thought form has lodged itself there.  As I send love to it and asked to find out what’s going on there I was flabbagasted by a lot of emotions!  I got a data-dump of all my unprocessed emotions between me and my children.  I missed them since they don’t live with me any more.  I felt guilt and shame about what I could have done better.  I felt deeply inadequate that I was too naive and inexperience as a mother and oh so unconscious when they were young.  I felt responsible for their struggles now.  I felt disappointment that our relationship is not better.  I seemed to have openned a can of worms and there is so much unprocessed emotions surrounding that.  No wonder my left hip has been acting up. There’s also some stuff from my relationship with my mother left there too but thankfully I’ve done a lot of release work on that already so it’s not as heavilty loaded.   Then there’s also related to the role of woman in society as well.  Why do we get stuck with giving birth? My body is just not the same after I had kids. The nine months of gestation is just the tip of the iceberg.  It’s all the responsibilities and burden and sacrifices that were made etc…

It was nonsensical how much emotions can be trapped in no more then about 4 square inches of my body!!!  Unbelievable how much self-loathing and inadequacy can be packed in such a small space.  Then I started to shift into releasing these emotions.  These are not just my own unacknowledged emotions, they are layers and layers of mass programming.  So I keep sending love to whatever thought forms that keep coming up.  They are just thoughts and emotions.  Thankyou for the experience and keep greeting these thought forms with unconditional love.  I don’t know when my body will be done with these thought forms, but I do know that my hip is feeling better the more I send it love.  I also called on solar light from the 5th dimension to illuminate this area.  The solar light has an intelligence that can transform these thought forms.  I stayed on this process of transformation until my left hip feels balanced and the pattern there does not need any more attention.

Next I want to connect with Gaia in the 5th Dimension.  It’s been a week or so since I last had a deep meditation connecting with Gaia.  I miss that connection.  I don’t want to know anything or get anything from this, I just want to be with Gaia.  So I went into my heart and invited her to join me.  A feminine form showed up in my mind’s eye and I wanted more.  I want a meeting of our hearts, our beings, I don’t want to deal with the duality of form.  The form transformed into a brilliant light and we hung out for a while.

Spirituality

Spirituality

Quan Yin in Orte Spain
Spirituality – Quan Yin in Orte Spain

I have been on this spiritual journey for over 30 years now.  Admittedly it has not always been clear to me where it is that I’m actually journeying towards.  Heck, let’s just say that most of the time including right this moment of now, I have no clue what this journey is all about.  I just know that we are all on this journey, yes even those people who are skeptical, cynical or down right too dense to even know how to spell spirituality let alone have an opinion about it.  We are all on this spiritual journey and there are no two journies that will look exactly alike.  It is for this reason that I am writing to express what spirituality is to me.

I started my spiritual journey on one very ordinary day.  I remembered it still very clearly in my mind.  I barely got out of university and I was walking to work one sunny evening in the Summer over 30 years ago.  It had been a rough year for me.  I just got out of school and I had a tough time finding work.  I didn’t know who to turn to ask for advice because there wasn’t any role models in my family that I could turn to.  Eventually, after months of struggling on my own I finally found something that had some signs of not being a completely dead-end job.  Yet still things were far from ideal.  It was with this back-drop that I walked towards my place of employment in the evening just as the sun was on the verge of sinking behind the horizon.  The sun touched my heart.  I must have seen a thousand sunsets but this sunset at that particular evening touched me deeply and I had a profound sense of relief.  It was as though the sun managed to whisper into my ears that evening that everything was going to workout, don’t even sweat it.  I still remember that feeling as though it had just happened 5 minutes ago.

Fast forward a year.  I was singing in a church choir.  I loved singing and I had been taking vocal lessons for a few months.  However, because of my work schedule the only choir that I could get in was a church choir.  Little did I know that that was my hook into religion.  I felt an inner peace when I was in church so becoming a baptised Catholic was a logical next step.  Never one to stay on the sideline, I jumped all in.  I was in the choir, in the Legion of Mary, visiting hospitals, evangelical activities, the whole nine yards.  I did the religion thing full on until my own marriage started to fall apart.  I remembered a still small voice in my mind admitted to myself that I didn’t know who I was any more after 5 years of marriage.  How did that happen?  By then, the stage was set for me to dive much deeper into my spiritual journey.

Spirituality - Pow Wow on Manitoulin
Pow Wow on Manitoulin

Fast forward twenty years to now.  Spirituality to me is that longing to go back to Source.  It is feeling the excruciating and ecstatic bliss of the pull of the First Cause.  It is the call to remember why we chose to incarnate.  This remembrance renders me completely emotional and exceedingly peaceful at the same time.  It is the reason that I bothered to get out of bed in the morning.  It is the reason I love going to bed at night.  It is what makes this journey on earth bearable at times when it is the least tolerable.   I belief this connection, this call from Source or the Universal Creator or whatever name you subscribe to is innate to everyone.  We express it or answer this call in our own unique way.  For some it may be expressed as their love for music, or their love for their family.  However we express it we are all on the same journey.

Social media & sharing icons powered by UltimatelySocial
RSS
Facebook
Facebook